Chapter 05

It was 141. Winding a bit through the edge of Crowleys Ridge. Green beginning to show, on the trees and the vegetation along the road.

"It's a left on 336," he told Jessica, looking up from his phone. "We should be close."

"There it is." she said moments later, checking the mirror again as she slowed. Nothing behind her. Left turn signal on.

Arkansas 141 was a decent enough highway, but not especially wide. Luckily the intersection with CR 336 coincided with a large bare patch covered in dirt and gravel. And it was dry. She turned into the patch and stopped. CR 336 ran west, old forest on the right and a grassy field with a few patches of trees on the right.

Alex's place was about a half mile from the highway. There were two large metal buildings, the type used on farms. Another smaller one nearer the road. All fairly new.

Remember building those. Four, five years ago? Hadn't even thought of this place before Jessica mentioned it. What else have I forgotten?

"We were out here in October last year." Jessica said. "Do you remember?"

He knew he and Jessica had been together some in the past. Probably came out here. What had their relationship been like before?

She parked in front of the small building, under an overhang that ran along the front. Walked around back, opened the hatch, took out his walker.

Alex got out, used the walker to get to the door. Jessica fished a keyring out of her purse.

"Luckily you were thorough." she said, holding up the keys. The large label attached read 'FARM'. "At least I hope these are the ones."

Alex knew he had come out almost every weekend, but only because Jessica had told him. He recognized the buildings, the location, now. It was in his memory somewhere. Or had been. Was it recoverable? Was his brain like a wiring closet that had had the cables pulled out of their proper places and carelessly thrown back in, or plugged into the wrong places? Or had some of them been cut? Removed altogether.

Wiring closet? Somewhere in there. Yeah, cables, hundreds of thousands of cables, running from the data center all over the building. And just a few, maybe three or four, to the telco. The fiber pipes to the outside. The gateways connecting inside to outside, the firewalls and routers. Disconnect something, put it back in the wrong place or leave it disconnected, stuff stops working. Can't get it back right, you got problems. And inside the boxes, the software got all kinds of switches and paths. Mess them up....

The brain is several an order of magnitude above a man-made network. If not more. What had happened to his? No oxygen for a quarter-hour? That doesn't make no sense. You black out in a minute or two. Three to five minutes is probably permanent damage. After that you're effectively dead. Machines keep you from decaying until they decide to turn them off.

"We're good." Jessica said, holding up the keys.

The door was open.

How long have I been standing here?

Probably just a minute, long enough for her to find the right key. Seemed like a long time.

Something seriously fucked. Something. Seriously. Why did Jessica get my records?

More like a house than a farm shop. The door opened into a large open living area. A row of rooms across each end, doors closed.

Been here before. Yeah. Just don't have the image in my mind. What it looked like before. What was I doing when I came here?

"Remember any of this?" Jessica asked. "You came out just about every weekend. Worked outside, planting trees, inside in the winter, on your equipment. Building things. Like this."

A small kitchen and dining area. Table for four. Counters and cabinets along two walls, with a counter extending from one, like you'd find in the average small family home. But the walls were unfinished plywood, floor was concrete. Sheetrock ceiling painted, but that was about it as far as interior finisinig went.

Yeah. In there somewhere, wherever your brain stores stuff. Maybe.

"A little. No memory of what. Just..."

Jessica waited patiently. He was locking up again. Mouth trying to say words. Brain didn't want to. Or was it the other way around.

"I think I remember. I don't know how much of it you telling me, and me remembering. I get some kind of vibe, coming up the road, seeing the place. Maybe it's in there somewhere."

He followed her out into the open area.

"You had a couple of small rooms over there," pointing to one end, "and a bath and laundry room. "I stayed over once in a while, we came out on Friday after work and had the whole weekend, you were showing me around, what you were working on. We'd drive back Saturday or Sunday night."

"Yeah. Maybe."

What had their relationship been like? Working together, palling around outside work. That couldn't have been all of it. Was she 'in a relationship'? With him. Made sense, except for the age.

"I dunno. What part I remember, and what you're telling me."

"I know people with anmesia often are able to recover their memory," she said, "or at least reconstruct it, perhaps, if they have someone to help them. It' still pretty early, you've only been out for a couple of months. And they were putting those drugs into you until the last two weeks, at least."

"Drugs?"

"I was waiting until I knew more. It'll take a while to explain, but I suspect the hospital did as much damage to you as your heart attack did. Maybe more. That's why I got your records as soon as you were out. It'll take a while, but maybe I can learn something from them."

So that's it. Figures

"Want to walk around outside for a while?"

The weather was pleasant. Sunny but not yet hot.

"Yeah, let's go."

Outside Jessica began to walk towards the field behind the buildings.

"Hang on." Alex stopped.

"Let me get my cane."

Jessica opened the door, handed the cane to him.

"Out here I can fall on the grass instead of the floor. Let's see how far I can go."

It was slow, but not as slow as using the walker. As long as he didn't fall much. Jessica stayed close, near enough to catch him if he lost his balance. He seemed to have equilibrium problems, but until he was free of the walker it would be hard to say. The amount of neurological damage he seemed to have...

Behind the buildings was a large field, now waist-high, or more, in grass with a large population of even taller weeds. Alex would have mowed it last in the summer before he went in the hospital. It had been untouched through the next year, and was about to begin growing again.

The area around the shops was surrounded by a fence made of heavy square posts with plank rails. They walked to a gate in the back. She opened it and they went through. Not far though. The vegetation was too high.

"I'll have to hire someone to mow it." Alex said. "I'm not going to be driving a tractor any time soon. Let's go back and look things over."

As they went through the gate he looked at the fence. Thinking. About what?

"Do you remember building it?" Jessica asked.

"I seem to. Or maybe I think I remember."

"I came out a few times, when you were working on it. You did it all by your self, setting a few posts each weekend. It took all summer."

"Yeah. Seems like a different life. There was something, though..."

He seemed to have lost his train of thought. Maybe it could come to him.

"Let's take a look in the shops."

Jessica found the key to the small personnel door on the nearer one and they entered.

Inside were a several tractors, a couple of John Deere compacts, one larger than the other. A couple of Kubota sub-compacts with mowers. A golf cart. Alex wondered what he used it for. Probably riding around the place - it was a quarter mile wide and deep.

How'd I know that? And what was I thinking about the fence? Something.

They went over to the other building. It was mostly empty, some building materials, a few crates of something. Large wooden crates. He didn't know what might be in them.

"I'm surprised we didn't have any vandalism or burglaries." he said. "Maybe criminals don't bother if they don't expect something worth stealing to be there. It's not uncommon for these buildings to be completely empty, or filled with worthless junk. Guess I got lucky. I guess that's enough for today." I guess that's enough for today."