Wed 13 Jul 2022 04:03:01 AM UTC : 1657684981
The White Supremacist in the Garden - A Fable
Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white supremacist wearing khakis and a polo shirt, holding a tiki torch, quietly sniffing the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a white supremacist in the garden," he said. "Smelling the roses." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him.
"The white supremacist is a mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The white supremacist was still there; now he was inspecting the tulips. "Here, white supremacist," said the man, and he picked a lily and gave it to him. The white supremacist sniffed it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a white supremacist in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife again. "The white supremacist," he said,"smelled a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him coldly. "You are a booby," she said, "and I am going to have you put in the booby-hatch."
The man, who had never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them even less on a shining morning when there was a white supremacist in the garden, thought for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He has a short sleeved shirt, I can see his wristwatch, and khaki pants." he told her. Then he went back to the garden to watch the white supremacist; but the white supremacist had gone away. The man sat down among the roses and went to sleep.
As soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned a psychiatrist; she told them to hurry to her house and bring a strait-jacket. When the police and the psychiatrist arrived they sat down in chairs and looked at her, with great interest.
"My husband," she said, "saw a white supremacist this morning." The police looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at the police. "He told me it smelled a lilly," she said. The psychiatrist looked at the police and the police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told me it had a khaki pants and a polo shirt. And was wearing a watch." she said. At a solemn signal from the psychiatrist, the police leaped from their chairs and seized the wife. They had a hard time subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the house.
"Did you tell your wife you saw a white supremacist?" asked the police. "Of course not," said the husband. "The white supremacist is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to know," said the psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is as crazy as a jaybird."
So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and locked her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after.
Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.